Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
