I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
