last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
