as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I didn't notice because vodka
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
