I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
The air taste purple.
Randomize
