I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Dignity is for republicans.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
