I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
