I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
