i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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