i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
that is very illegal...i love you.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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