I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
