I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
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