? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
My vagina is officially offended.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
