eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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