I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
