he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
