I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
