sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
there is puke in my bra ... again
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