We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
