I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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