Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
