It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Randomize
