How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize