There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
