you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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