We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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