My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
