When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
