Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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