question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize