Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize