If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
