Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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