I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize