I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
