That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize