No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
