hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
