Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
