you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
