So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
