I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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