My nipple is on Facebook.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize