I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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