We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
