Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
