My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
