we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
