Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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