Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
