Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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