Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You need a sexual gate keeper
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Randomize
