the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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