Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
