"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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