I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
