I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
