those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
