a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
