this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
