is your mom at the bar?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
