It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I have fence marks all over my body
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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