I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
