dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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