THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
