I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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