I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
