is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
