My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
