we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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