S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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