Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I need to stop coming to work sober
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
