weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
