i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize