So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
