im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
